


Blue-bird, Ice-bird. The Fire That Vowed to Destroy Me

by Sanguis



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Jotunheimr, M/M, implied Thorki, random puking of words, when Loki first sees his blue skin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-01
Updated: 2012-11-01
Packaged: 2017-11-17 13:42:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/552176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sanguis/pseuds/Sanguis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Once I am king, I will hunt down all the monsters, Thor had said. Standing on the golden stairs and knowing of the Jötnar sneaking in, Loki could never have imagined how those words would come back and stab at his heart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Blue-bird, Ice-bird. The Fire That Vowed to Destroy Me

The winds of Jötunheimr are as violent as the battle that rages, ignited by Thor’s pride, his temper and Býleistr Laufeyson’s words. Loki is calm, despite the fast beating of his heart and the adrenaline rushing through his veins. He knows – oh how he knows – there is little chance for them to come away unscathed, let alone gain another victory for Asgard with merely the six of them.

His brother is so _easy_ , it makes Loki’s blood boil – and this time he is partly to blame; he and his tongue and his poisonous whispers of encouragement.

He needed Thor to do something unwise, well, isn't this just about mad?

He vaguely hears Volstagg cry not to let the Jötnar touch them, but Loki already knows this: he does not go into battle without knowing everything there is to know about his enemy. He needs only to find a fire hot enough to burn and devour the cold. It’s just that the thought of heat has always displeased him, unsettled something under his skin.

It is shocking when one of the Jötunn grabs his arm; he imagines it will be scorched by cold and yet his skin only ripples, he sees tiny sparks, feels the electric currents of an interrupted spell, and his arm, his own flesh turns _blue_.

It is little comfort that the Jötunn is as astonished as he is.

For a while after he tosses the Jötunn, his arm remains the same shade of blue, but then it ripples back to Æsir pale, to the skin he’s always known. The spell – he knows it is but a spell: he can feel the seiðr he knows to be Odin’s – reasserts itself as if nothing at all had passed, it knits itself and covers the blue with the illusion of something else.

 _Once I am king, I will hunt down the monsters and slay them all_ , Thor had said. 

Standing on the golden stairs of Hliðskjálf and knowing of the Jötnar sneaking in, Loki could never have imagined how those words would come back to stab at his heart, to rip open his chest and destroy him from within with their fire.

 _Would you still love me, broðir?_ Loki thinks. _Would you still kiss these lips if you knew?_

He staggers on, disturbed and quite unable to understand how all of this ties in with the life he’s lived – but oh, is it not obvious now? He always was the least favoured child, the one who would never, could never, ascend to the throne; Odin and Frigga’s feigned ignorance of his and Thor’s little affair. He was never Thor’s equal in anyone’s eyes, just the odd little shadow.

His brother, not-brother, who wants to destroy the monsters – and that’s what he’s always been to everyone but Thor; the mischief-child, lie-smith, silver-tongue but if now he were to add Jötunn to the list then he would truly be the monster in the midst of Æsir and even Thor, even _Thor_ –

He nearly chokes on a sob.

But there’s no time, no time at all because they need to go and the world hasn’t changed and he hasn’t changed either, he just knows. He knows and everything hurts.

He grits his teeth when he sees Odin All-Father, not-father. Deep in his heart he knows the answer but still, still he asks _Am I cursed?_


End file.
